Sugar on a hundered dollar bill.

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I am grateful to shopify for this. Do you realize how much thought and attention it takes to make something easy and usable? I appreciate it, Shopify. Ok. It seems like the first step is to create a partner account.

To sign up for the partner account, you sign up here.
Worries: what if I don’t have a good website? Will they reject my artner application?
Nope! They just let you do it! I love a site that gets out of yiur way and lets you do things! How wonderful!

To get back to the shopify partners site, go to

So here’s something mildly terrifying. Choice: do I do a test shop or a n affiliate shop? This is where too many choices come into play. I’m going to do a test shop. Why? Because i want to build a theme. I’m not going to care about money. Speaking of which, I found a spelling mistake. Where do I report that to shopify?

On this page:

The following blurb has 2 errors:

Test Shops Overview
Test shops are for development purposes only, such as designing a Shopify theme, or building a Shopify app. Test shops are different from affiliate shops, they cannot be upgraded to another Shopify plan to accept payment for orders. If are you opening a Shopify store for a client, you’ll want to create an instead.

Correction 1: Replace comma with period. ” … different from affiliate shops. They…”

Correction 2: Add missing affiliate shop. “You’ll want to create an affiliate shop instead.”

Yay! I hope I improved their website a little.

Anyway, I am creating a test site.

Cool, I am creating a test site.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. So. I am missing a lot of data. I love undertaking things in ignorance. Having no idea how hard something is makes you unafraid to try it.

Hmm. Here’s an idea. Use the shopify interface to document everything you can do with the shopify interface.

I created a new account. So many options. So little time. What am I grateful for this time? I made a test page. It has everything I need to get the ball rolling.

Ok shopify, I love the fact that you have a walkthrough. What do artists want? Artists want an easy way to sell their art and to track their purchases.

The duck song is awesome.
It s also a nefarious distraction. What shall I do next in my store?

Ok. I want a pinterest-style webstore.

A minimalist store: a store that sells one thing and one thing only. What would such a store need? It would not need a catalog.

So. My stores will specialize in selling one thing. We’ll call it the one-product template. A small bar across the top.

Charlie sheen little house on a prairie.

Ok. How do I build a Liquid template from scratch?

So the first question is how do I render a theme.liquid inside my test store?

Problem: it is difficult to edit shopify themes on my ipad.

Here is an obstical that I have no idea how big it is. Let’s shovel shit. How do I edit on an ipad?

First, shopify’s template editor does not
So. I need to be able to ssh into a remote machine.
How do I upload changed assets to shopify

So it seems that I am not able to edit shopify themes on ipad. How do I edit using the api?

Let’s see if I can develop a custom shopify app that lets me develop with the ipad.
Here’s how to make a shopify app:

That’s not useful. Let’s read about developing apps.

So, I made a private app to help me automate tasks.

An app is just a key. The store owner gives you the key to get into their shop. What you do with it is up to you. I am grateful to Shopify for making it possible to access my store in a ifferent way that the UI. All right, i have made a key.

Hmm. I am confused. When i try to access this url in safari, it accuses me of phishing.

Example URL

Cool. It works. I have made my very first API call.

Ok. Now that I know how to make an api call,

Wht am I grateful for? The information is all here. I just don’t understand it. I don’t quite get what get does.

So i want to create a javascript page that gets info from my shopify account, lets me edit it, and lets me load it to my shopify account again.

The first part is javascript that lets me get stuff from my shopify account.…127450.145441.0.146098.,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.,cf.osb&fp=c0f12e34f3084b19&biw=1024&bih=644

Can I pretty please have the file?

Hmm. Ok. So it appears I can delete nearly everything in my shopify file.

I have one thing to do and one thing only: anonymed.

Build a theme that just shows one product.

What does simple look like?
What is the simplest thing I need?

So I made a shopify store. It is unsellable. Yay.


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Things I am grateful for:
Being dumb. I have absolutely no idea how this project is going to turn out. I have no idea what problems I will run into, if it gets done, or any of that. Being among other hackers: that I can ask questions of.
Being well-fed, safe, and curious.

Goal: make a Shopify theme and record every step. Secondary goal: be grateful for every step along the way.

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Little house on the prarie
Harmonica Vin Desil
Bottle of gin
Male hair cutter
What do you need, sherlock?
Narbonic Mel the lizard
Spanish sea.
Leafy Angel
Larry Vin desil

Grammar-gram cracker
Objects- jets
Regular Expressions-

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Worst idea Ever:
A video game called Suicide. The goal is to commit a painless suicide. A variety of methods to commit suicide, all rated by a pain scale. The trick- the video game never actually allows you to ‘win.’. Instead, it takes you through all of the horror that is suicide.

The only way to ‘win’ is to get your butt to a counselor, friend, or or other helpful person.

Sent from my iPad

Worst idea Ever:
A video game called Suicide. The goal is to commit a painless suicide. A variety of methods to commit suicide, all rated by a pain scale. The trick- the video game never actually allows you to ‘win.’. Instead, it takes you through all of the horror that is suicide.

The only way to ‘win’ is to get your butt to a counselor, friend, or or other helpful person.

Sent from my iPad

Help! Where Am I! Is particularly useful. This. bait and switch

Huh. Why on earth does this not throw a syntax error?
name_of_if: if(true){
alert(“Huh. you can name if statements.”);

I got he idea from Douglas Crockford’s statements railroad diagram.

Ahh. Labels are used by break and continue statements. They are evil. Do not use them. Have you ever been a volunteer doing work for an event, and you were in the middle of something, like, say, washing dishes, and a coordinator came up to you and said, “stop that! Go pick up trash.”. So you stopped doing doing dishes and went to pick up trash. Then another volunteer coordinator came up while you were in the middle od picking up trash and said “stop that! Go do dishes.”. That’s what break ans continute do. Usually they are used to interrupt your program when you are in the middle of something and send you off to a completely different part od the program to do something else.

It’s frustrating for volunteers, and it’s frustrating for coders trying to read your code-expecially when yiunare in the middle of something and it interrupts itself to do something completley different. Don’t do it.

It seems like javascript is trying to be three different critters. Assembler: (break, continue) Imperative (statements)
And functional (functions as first-class objects)

Wierd wierd labels Good question. No answer.

There are 9 statements, like a cat with nine lives.

Tri-force Loopy switch ex-wife very if Disease

If my ex-wife tries fruit-loops, switch her with the disco virgin. If expression try loops (do, while, for) switch disruptive var



Here’s a weird thing. Function invocations are expressions. F() is an expression
F(); is an expression statement.

Rule of thumb: a statement does something. An expression turns into a value.

In javascript, the two are blurred.

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